Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Chapter 101 - May 7, 2013

Hi everybody. I'm baaack. I missed you all so much I had to come back. I'm gonna name this blog "Dreams" and I'm gonna dedicate it to my little one. I'm gonna call this blog "Dreams" because I've been having strange dreams. Just the other night I dreamt about a quote. The quote says, "In the kingdom of Blindness, the one eyed man is King" I have no idea what the hell that means. And then the other dream I had, Van Gogh showed up and said, "Where's my fucking ear?!" All strange stuff, but you know, whenever I have dreams, I'm up and about walking. You know, I'm normal. So that's a good sign.

I've been taking pictures as much as I can. That's really nice for me. I've been photographing off my parent's porch and from the car. The results are good. Let's see, the other thing that happened was, I went to go see my eye doctor. You know for a yearly check up. It was a weird check up. Apparently my file was red flagged. It was red flagged because I'm so special. Anyway, all the resident doctors came to see me. They all wanted to have a look at me. I felt like a lab rat. They all left except 2 doctors. I don't think they knew what to say. They just said, "Continue on doing what you're doing. We're glad you're improving. We don't know why you're improving, but we're happy you are. Oh, and by the way, give this literature to your mother." It was from the Lighthouse. It was a brochure for blind people. First of all, that seemed weird to me that you would give a blind person a brochure. The other thing was, I felt like I'd been dumped.

The other thing that happened to me was I went to go see my seizure doctor. Remember, she requested I get an MRI done. Well, the results are in. I do have a brain. It's not Sponge Bob but a real full on brain. She could clearly see why I was having seizures. She upped my vimpad. That's anti seizure medicine. She looked at the rest of my MRI and she could see why I am the way I am. She just said, "Keep working hard." The overall feeling I get is that I've plateaued but deep down inside I feel like I've not plateaued. I feel like I can get much better, but it will just be a long process.

All this stuff is redundant. I feel like I've said it before. Let's tell a few stories to lighten it up. They're stories from the past. Stuff I went through and stuff I think about now when I'm lying on my back in bed.

I'm gonna tell you guys some random stories. The first story takes place in Greenland. I was there about 20 years ago as an assistant photographer. anyway, I was lying on a boat in the sun. It was low tide, the boat was low, next to the town dock. I was with a crew drifting off to sleep when all of a sudden I heard a scream. I looked up and all around the boat were guys in white aprons, white boots and long knives. They were covered in blood. They were the guys that worked in the local fish factory. I looked over at who was screaming. It was the model and she was wearing, well, practically nothing. She just had on her bikini taking in the sun. We pushed off from the dock as quick as we could. The locals started screaming at us. I'm not up on my local Inuit language, but I'm sure it wasn't like, "Have a nice day." The model said "God, you'd think they never saw a girl before." And I said, "I'm sure they haven't seen a girl like you, lying naked. You gotta think about things before you act."

Another story takes place at the same place. Same time. We were all sitting in a restaurant that overlooks the harbor. Mind you, it's mostly a female crew. anyway, we're looking out at the harbor and what do I see? A Destroyer pulling into port. The owner of the restaurant said "Oh shit." I said, "What's wrong?" He said, "See that boat? They've been out at sea for about 5 months. When they see your girls they're going to go nuts. You better get out of here." Well, it was too late. They came straight up to the restaurant out of the boat. They had been singing on the way up to the restaurant. Well, as soon as they came through the door and saw the girls, they stopped singing. They all sat down. Didn't take their eyes off our table. Eventually, they sent over a bunch of beer. I said, "No thank you." The owner of the restaurant said, "Please, please take the beer. Have one drink and get out of here." Well, as soon as we took the beer, they all came over. We said thank you and left. They also left and kept calling us over to talk to them. Well, we all jumped on our little motor scooters and took off back to the hotel. One of the models was on my bike. She turned around and she said, "Oh shit!" They all started running after us. So what did she do in her infinite wisdom? She flipped them off. Talk about pouring fuel on the fire! They all went crazy. They started sprinting after us. I opened up on the throttle thanking god we were going down hill. I took off and we soon escaped their anger, but then we had to go uphill to get to the hotel. I had the throttle opened up, but they got closer and closer and closer. We finally made it to the hotel. We threw down our mopeds and ran towards the hotel. They were still sprinting after us. Well, I ran into the hotel. The owner of the hotel said to me, "No running." I sprinted past him. The model sprinted past him. The rest of my crew ran past him, and the entire destroyer of sailors sprinted past him. He screamed and got under the desk. We all went back to my room, shut the door and locked it. We could hear the sailors opening doors. Well, everything went quiet and all of a sudden we heard a knock at our door. I said, "This is crazy. I'm gonna go talk to them." So I went to the door opened it up and there in front of me was the captain of the boat. I thought, Thank God, someone reasonable. Well, the captain said to me all he wanted to do was take us on a helicopter ride. I thought great. A one way trip for me. The man was clearly crazy. All of a sudden the military police showed up. Thank god. Anyway, there was a full on riot. Lots of batons. You know, military police stuff. Just another day.

Another story takes place in New York. I was having an innocent flirtation with one of the girls I worked with. We were having a coffee together. Anyway, she said to me, "Let's go skydiving." She's from South America. So imagine a beautiful South American girl saying "Oh, let's go skydiving." I never tried skydiving before, but I said, "OK, let's go, why not." I said, "You know a place to go sky diving?" She said, "Yes. My old boyfriend is an instructor." I said, "What?" She said, "Yeah, he wanted to marry me, but I said no. But we're still good friends." I envisioned myself pulling on the parachute and a bunch of knives and spoons and forks come out. Like the Wiley Coyote in Road Runner. I said, "I think I'll pass on the skydiving and get another coffee instead." She said, "OK."

Anyway, that's about it for this week. I'll be back again. It's fun doing these blogs together. and you know what, it is good for me because I think about what is good to talk about. It's good for my memory. Anyway, have a good week. Love, B. Nice

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