Saturday, March 16, 2013

Chapter 93 - March 12, 2013

I can't get lost because I don't know where I'm going. Actually, I do know where I'm going. I'm gonna get better.

Hi everybody, welcome to another week. Man, I woke up this morning and I felt terrible. So I had my mom turn on the TV. We turned on the weather channel. And you know what they said? They said, Today was National Nap Day. No, I'm serious. Today is National Nap Day. I looked outside. It's raining. It's really gray out. Overcast. There's a big low pressure system hanging over us. I would say it's nap day. You see, when you're like I am, traumatic brain injury, things really affect you, like low pressure systems. They really bring you down. Or something like sugar. That will really affect you. And coffee, oh my god. A cup of espresso feels like it will kill you. So today, what did I do? Like a young idiot, I had a double espresso with 2 spoonfuls of sugar on a low pressure system day. I feel like I'm on Mars. I should have just had a chamomile tea. So as you go through something like this, you'll learn as you go what affects you and what doesn't. I'm learning the hard way. Maybe this info will help someone out there.

It wasn't really an eventful week. I don't have much news to report. In a situation like this, no news is good news. I have been doing water therapy. It's really helpful. I've been doing that to get ready for my trip coming up. My friend here will include the link.

The other thing I've been working on a lot is my machine called the Up and Go. It basically teaches you how to walk again. It's an excellent machine. I highly advise using it. The other thing I've been doing is I work with a guy doing yoga and stretching. That's been really good as well. Other than that, it's the same old routine. I do therapy from sunrise to sunset. Thank god the days are short this time of year.

You know, I spend a lot of time just sitting in my wheelchair staring at the dog or a wall. I remember things from the past to preoccupy my time. I spent a lot of my previous time traveling. I used to actually love to travel. It gave me time to do my cartoons, like the ones I've been showing you. When I was little, we took the steamship, the SS France from New York to France. It was a great trip. Back then, you had a cabin with a personal steward. It was a great way to travel. Now everything is so rushed. I miss those days where you would take a steamship. I have a feeling I'll be reliving those days. You see, under doctors' advice, I can't fly.

Man, one time, when I was flying, all of a sudden comes an announcement that we had to make an emergency landing. I guess the pilot lost his radar. He had to land somewhere clear so he could land by sight. Anyway, we landed at some airport in the desert somewhere near Phoenix. Oh, yeah, we were going from LA to New York. We got to the terminal, everyone unloaded the plane. They put us in the departure lounge. I went to the window to take some photos. The pilot was up on the nose cone talking to some technician. The technician got a ladder, opened up the nose cone and a radar dish fell out and hit the ground. I felt like booking a car back to New York. Anyway, the technician got a new radar dish, put it in with a screwdriver, hooked it up, closed the cone, locked it and off we went.

Another time, I was flying for work and an announcement came over the speaker that we had to make an emergency landing. This was going from Indonesia to Sydney. We landed in some strange airport, in the middle of the night. The flight attendants came around and shut all the shades. I was curious so I opened my shade to see what the hell was going on. The pilot was standing by an engine. The pilot looked like he was 12. He was looking at the engine, took off his hat, scratched his head, and looked up at the engine as fuel was pouring out of it. Another announcement came on and said, "Well, we have to spend the night here and order another engine from Japan."

Another time we were traveling we had to take a boat from Brisbane, Australia, to Heron Island. When we left the port it was a beautiful day, very calm. All of a sudden a storm kicked up. The swells were huge, but we were already more than half way through the trip. The captain of the boat was already committed to finishing our trip to Heron Island. Anyway, the swells got so big they were going over the top of the boat. We all got on the floor and held on to anything we could hold on to. At the back of the boat, the male model who was 6'8" was holding on to his bench going, "Mommy, Mommy, Mommy." We all had puke all over us. It was real bad. Anyway, a girl that worked on the boat started handing out life jackets and throw up bags. She seemed fine. She said to me,"You know what works in a situation like this?" I wiped the vomit from my face and said, "What?" She said, "Think about sex." I said, "You gotta be kidding me!" I was covered in my own vomit. We got to the dock and the captain said over the speaker, "We're going to try and dock. If we can't make it, we'll have to go back." When I heard this, I went upstairs, threw my camera bag to my assistant and jumped off the boat. I got in a lot of trouble, but there was no way I was going back through that. You should have seen the expression of the tourists ready to board the boat going back.

OK, I'll tell you one last story before I sign off. It was pretty wild. I was flying over Laos. This was at the end of the Vietnam war. I was a little kid. Anyway, the flight attendants came around and shut all the blinds. We were at 30,000 feet, something like that. Then the captain came over the speaker, he said, "Taking photos out the window is prohibited. You're not allowed to look out the window." So, what did I do? I immediately open my window and looked outside. Remember, we're 30,000 feet, as far as the eye could see there were bomb craters. Cheerful huh? Anyway, I hate to leave you with this. To lighten it up, my friend here will leave you with some cartoons that should make you smile. Talk to you next week everybody. Love. B. Nice.

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