Monday, January 14, 2013

Chapter 84 - January 12, 2013

Happy Birthday Hudson! Greetings everybody. Welcome to another week in Paradise. Remember I told you I would run to look for locations? Well, I would windsurf as well. I found some great locations windsurfing. One time I was in St. Maarten and had the day off so I thought I'd go for a windsurf. Well, I was screaming along fully powered up, going fast through the waves when I saw another pair of windsurfers coming toward me. As they got closer and closer I realized, Oh my God, they're naked! Bits and pieces were flying everywhere. They went past me and smiled. I thought, Oh my God, I hope they don't fall. Then I looked to my right and there was a guy going down the beach walking his schlong, and just behind him was an outdoor buffet. Everyone was lined up with their plates, naked. It was all a bit too much. The only other time I saw something more mortifying was when I was at the Playboy Mansion. There were naked women in the grotto, but that's a whole other story.

You know, I used to think about things like this all the time when I was in a bad way. Or, you know, when I had to have another MRI. Get my mind off of things.

Oh yeah, I'll go back to windsurfing. Once I was in St. Bart's. I was windsurfing at the end of the runway near the airport. Anyway, I was approaching the end of the runway when I noticed everyone  got up and started running. I thought, what the hell are they running for? Then I looked over and I saw a small plane crash into the runway. It collapsed its landing gear and the propellers chewed up the runway. The plane came to a stop. The door opened, there was a moment of silence, and then all of a sudden, you heard some woman screaming. She jumped out of the plane and started saying something in Spanish and kissed the ground. Everyone else started piling out. Apparently you have to have a special license to land there. Obviously, the pilot of this plane didn't. I never did like small planes.

When I was little, my parents were on the fence. They were trying to decide if I should go on vacation with my little friend. I was in Kindergarten. My parents decided not to send me with my little friend. It's a good thing I didn't go because the whole family got wiped out. The plane crashed. But I remember going to the funeral and seeing two little coffins and two big ones. I thought to myself, my friend's in there? That's when I discovered we don't live forever. Ever since then, I've hated small planes. I've got a video of a plane we took from Fort Lauderdale to the Bahamas. They left the fuel cap off. It was flapping in the wind. Fuel was going everywhere. One spark and we would have been done. I got a good video of it. I'll share it with you later. Another time happened when I was building my house. The police stopped by. I thought, oh no, what have I done now. Anyway, the police stopped by and said, "Hey, do you mind if we borrow your crane?" (I was using a crane to set some of my timber.) Anyway, they needed the crane to fish a small airplane out of the trees in Montauk. You see, this is why I don't like small planes.

I guess I'll just tell some random stories. One time I was location scouting in Hawaii. I was so bored. Another house to look at. Often we would use real estate agents to look at property. Well, anyway, I was looking at this house and the woman who was a real estate agent started trying to sell the house to me. I was intrigued. I said, "This is a beautiful space. What are the taxes like?" And she started telling me about the taxes. I said, "My partner and I..." I grabbed the art director. I said, "My partner and I have a small child. What are the schools like?" Well, the art director looked at me like I was an alien. He didn't know what the hell was going on. I said, "Just go along with it." We almost bought a house together. Anyway, one other time I was location scouting we came across a really cool plantation in Hawaii. It was an old plantation. Built around the rain forest. Pretty wild to see because the plantation was shut down. It was about to be turned into a golf course. But you know what happened? Eventually, nature takes it back because the same thing happened just down the road, and the volcano took it all back, back to square one. The volcano took the whole golf course. It's kind of like me right now. I'm back to square one. Having to learn how to do everything all over again.

Remember I'm doing this blog to help people that have some sort of Traumatic Brain Injury. Did you know that one in six people are affected by some form of neurological damage. One in six. Pretty wild. I think if we don't stop texting each other in the car, that number will go up to like one in three. You guys have got to spread the word. Get people to stop driving while texting. You should see the stuff I saw. It would freak you out. Anyway, that's enough of my public service message.

I went to see my neurologist this week, cause remember, I had a seizure a few weeks back. Well, as I was listening to her talk, all I heard was, "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." Remember in Peanuts when the teacher is talking to Charlie Brown, all you hear is "Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." I'm at the stage where even they don't know what to say. So it's just the same shit over and over again. So it's time to repair yourself. You know, you get to a point where you kind of have to do that. Not rely on them, but rely on yourself. I'm at that point right now. You know, no one can do it but yourself. Sorry to get deep on you, but hey, that's the way it is right now. I'm getting better. It's just a lot of work and a lot of time.

My friend here is going to include some cartoons I did in the past. I used to keep a record of my life in cartoon form. They were pretty much my journals. I hope you enjoy them. My friend here will also include a link to my next project. You know in 1979 I ran across America. It was a big challenge. It eventually landed me in the Guinness Book of World Records. Now I'm going to go back the other direction in a car and take pictures. In my state it's a big challenge as well. I guess they were both big challenges in their own way. I'll let you know more about the trip later. Have a good week. Love, B. Nice.

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