Sunday, April 14, 2013

Chapter 97 - April 9, 2013

Hi everybody, welcome to another week in paradise. I'm going to name this blog, "You little spoiled brat!"

I was talking to a client the other day. She said I had a bad boy image. And then I was talking to another client. I said to her, "Did I have a bad boy image?" She said, "No, you're more of a spoiled brat." I guess I should have seen the writing on the wall. You see, one time I was doing a photoshoot in a studio. The Studio manager handed me a fax to give to the editor. I looked at the fax to see if it was for me. The subject said, "Is Mr. Not-So-Nice behaving himself?" Another time, I was shooting a fashion job in the Hamptons. As I was shooting the producer said to me, "We have to go to Miami tomorrow. Get yourself to the airport and buy yourself a dinner, and the dinner you will have to pay for." Well, I stopped shooting. I looked at her. I said to her, "Are you serious?" I said, "You guys have been nickel and diming me to death. I  have to think about what you said. I'm going to take a stroll down the beach and think about what you said." Well, the beach was about a mile long and I walked all the way to the end. On the way back, I saw her running to me. She said, "All right, I'll buy your fucking dinner, now will you please get back to the shoot?!" Another time I was talking to a creative director in New York City. She was the creative director to a big account I had. Anyway, she handed me two envelopes. One contained information I was to give to the art director. The other envelope was for a surprise birthday party the same art director was going to have. The creative director stressed to me, "By no means show her this envelope with her birthday party information inside." So what did I do with my infinite wisdom? I handed her the wrong envelope. She opened it up. Her eyes got really big. She shut the envelope and she said I don't think I was supposed to see this. I kind of felt like throwing up. What was even worse was gong to the party. There were about 200 people there and I was talking to the creative director. She said, I've been planning this for about 6 months. If I ever found out someone gave it away, I'd kill them. The art director arrived and acted really surprised. She winked at me. I checked my shorts.

Another time, I was getting ready to go on a photoshoot. We had the location van set up in central park. It was early in the morning. Man, I was hung over. I went outside and laid on the sidewalk. I felt so sick. The model came out in a one piece jumpsuit, leopard print. She was wearing lots of gold and had gold slippers. Mind you, this was the mid '90's. Anyway, she started massaging with her heal. I started groaning. For some reason everyone walked around me. It must have been really strange to see out of context. Everyone that walked by avoided me.

OK, I'll talk a little bit about Traumatic Brain Injury. Hey, guess what. I saw the motor home, the trailer I want to use for my trip coming up. See the link attached for My Point of View. Anyway, I managed to stand up and get inside with the help of 3 people. It was like an Olympic Event getting inside, but I did it. I've been spending like 6 months learning how to take 3 steps, turn around and sit down. I was so proud of myself. You see, it looks simple, but man, it was a lot of work and scary as hell. What's even scarier was I sat there and I thought, OK, I got in, but how the hell do I get out? I never thought about that. So I improvised.

My friend here asked me, How did I get out. Well the same 3 people that helped me get in just threw me out the door. Just kidding. I just walked backwards out the door into my wheelchair.
It's a trailer I'd like to use. The other thing is, I've stepped up my water therapy. I can't really walk on land, but I can walk in the water. It helps me get ready for land. Let's see, what else is new. Well, I've been trying to feed myself. It's working out. Feels good not to stab myself in the face. Basically, everything is improving it's just in baby steps. Everything is so slow. The guy with the trailer said he can modify the trailer to me. I looked at him, I thought for a minute I said. You know, I like it stock, as it is. I'll modify myself to the trailer. It takes some time, but I'll do it. You gotta know your limits. Anyway, I'll talk to you guys next week. My friend here will include some drawings I did in the past. 

My friend here will include a drawing I did about a Turkey Shoot. It's no big deal. I just had to work on Thanksgiving day. It was just me and my turkey in Naples, Florida. We often had to work on the holidays. Oh well. At least I got a good drawing out of it.

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