Chapter 72 - October 16, 2012

I'd like to dedicate this week's blog to my good friend. We've known each other since grade school. He's been a great help through this tough period of my life. I'll include a photo of him and me from the grade school days.

Hi everybody. Welcome to another day in paradise. Well, this week has been full of surprises. I met another super mom. She was in my hospital outpatient center. She had the same car that my family has. She's been looking after her son. The poor guy's a mess. I don't know his condition, but after talking to her, it sounds like he's been the same way since birth. It was something like 22 years ago. So she's been looking after him for a long time. She knows all the ins and outs about taking care of someone in this condition. It's good to talk to someone like that. If you can't find someone like this, then there's always good support groups out there.

Another thing that happened to me this week was a new mental health nurse showed up. I was wondering what happened to the last one. I guess I shouldn't have told her my dog was talking back to me. It was all a joke. I was just kidding. I hope she didn't take me seriously. Anyway, the new one is pretty cool. She said it's normal for me to be a little depressed. She said, "Let's review why you may be unhappy. What's happened in the past 3 years?" I said, "Well, I had a brain bleed. I was rushed to the ER. I had an emergency brain operation. Two other operations. And then another operation. Then, went to see my daughter and wife far away. My wife sued me for divorce. I had another brain bleed. I had a brain operation. My daughter taken from me. All the houses are gone. Everything I owned is gone. I'm 50 and living with my parents. I had a series of seizures. Four of them. I went to the ER. My dog died. I've been through the rehabilitation 3 times. I've been on my back for 3 years. Other than that, everything's great! That's why I might be a little sad." Anyway, she pointed out that there are 2 reasons to be depressed. One is medical. You know, like your brain might be physically damaged. And the other is just plain old sadness from events. I guess I have the latter. Anyway, she's real cool. It helps a lot.

OK, let's talk about the past a bit. You know, when I get a little sad or to get me through the tough times, I just remember things from the past.

I remember this one time I was living in Paris. I went to one of many dinner parties I was to go to. I was sitting next to a girl, just started making small talk with her. I said to her, "What are you doing this weekend?" She said, "I'm going to London, to a party. I'm going to take Daddy's jet and go over to London. What are you doing this weekend?" I said, "Me? I'm doing my laundry." That separation of classes reminds me of another story. I was in New Guinea on a photo shoot. We were invited to a house to go for a swim. When we pulled up to the house, the first thing I noticed was there was a very tall fence all around the house. There was razor wire at the top of the fence. I thought, oh what a charming place. The owner of the house came out, she was huge. A big lady. Pasty white. She had 2 small children under her arms. They were equally pasty white. She said, "Would you like some tea and biscuits while you go for a swim." I said, "Sure." Then she went back into the house with her strange children. I went over to go for a swim. I said to our driver, "Hey come on in for a swim." he said, "Thank you but no, I can't go in there, their dogs will attack me." I said, "Come on. No Way." He said, "Yeah, those dogs are trained to attack anyone that's not white." I said, "Get out of here." He said, "No, look," and he walked over to the fence. The dogs came running out of the house as he approached the fence. They jumped up and tried to attack him. I freaked out. He got back in the car and said, "Now you go over." "No fucking way!" He said, "No really go over." So I went up to the fence and the dogs sat down and whimpered and then got up. They were gentle and happy to see me. I thought, this place is like the land that time forgot. Well, I went for a quick swim and went back to the hotel. I bought our driver a beer there. It was all very strange. But now I know what colonialism means.

I want to share with you guys why I love to travel so much. My parents were pretty much hippies in the day. My dad's an artist and my mom's a school teacher. Well, they took me out of school at the age of 11. They took my sister out of school as well. The reason why we left school was because we took a boat to England, lived there for a while. Lived in France, Spain, Italy, Greece, Turkey, Iran, Iraq, India, New Guinea, and stayed a long time in Australia. I went to school in France and Australia. We then went to New Zealand, Hawaii, and back to America. I guess I got the travel bug from this time of my life. My sister, I think she doesn't like to travel. All this traveling happened when she was really young. To me it was like a big adventure. Anyway, I just thought I'd share that with you. There's lots of stories from this time of my life. But that's a whole other story.

This came to me out of the blue. My friend here was reading to me what I was saying. I wanted to include the following for this week:  Remember I talked about the fact that I ran across America. It was me and 11 other guys. We did a continuous relay across America. Anyway, a couple of things from this trip where triggered by the above stories.

I remember I was running through east St. Louis at 3:00 in the morning. I don't know if you've ever run through east St. Louis at 3:00 in the morning, but it's kind of scary. We had a police escort. She was equally scary. I think she was a he. Anyway, this she/male was there to protect me. I was running down the middle of the street. People were throwing shit at me, like beer cans, rocks, sticks. anything they could get a hold of. They were yelling at me. I thought what's the big deal why is everyone yelling at me? At one point, I looked at myself in a store window I realize now why people were yelling at me. You see, my school sweats were all white. They had the word RIT in big block letters. They looked like KKK. My sweats were also all white with a big white hood. Another time I was running at about 4:00 in the morning. I was in Appalachia. The van was waiting for me about 2 miles down the road. It was dark and this pick up truck pulled up behind me. It was like  something out of the movies. He had no lights on. Scared the hell out of me. pulled up behind me then pulled up next to me. He greeted me with a smile and a double barrelled shot gun cradled in his arm. It was pointing right at me. "We're just running across America." He said, "Well, we're out hunting squirrels," and he pulled away. I told everyone in the van. They just dismissed me. no one ever believes me but it's all true. One more story and then I'll call it quits. On the same run, we had a back up car. Well, the back up car needed some gas so I went to the gas station with the car and filled it up and went inside to pay for the gas. I got in line. Well, there was a guy trying to get in the front door so I opened it for him. I looked down, and in his waistband was a nickel plated revolver. I think he was about to rob the place. I looked at him, the gun and I looked over his shoulder. There was a squad car parked in an alley. I looked at him and the gun again, looked at the police car. The guy I was holding the door open for looked at what I was looking at. He saw the police car, closed his jacket and got in his car and left. I was a bit dazed and confused. I left too. Once again, no one believed me. I should have showed them my shorts. Then they would have believed me. OK, one more story

This happened when I was an assistant photographer. This story takes place in Acapulco, Mexico. We were on a photo shoot in Acapulco. They gave us 5 days to do a 4 page spread. This is when the magazines had a lot of money and a lot of time. Anyway, when we were in town, we met a guy who had an awesome house. He said, why don't you come over for dinner after you're done with your photo shoot. We all said cool. We'll come over for dinner. Well, the house was unreal. We had dinner outside. He was a great host, he and his high class hooker from Dallas. They were very gracious. Well, after dinner, we all went for a swim. We were ripped on tequila. We all thought it would be fun to jump in the pool naked. The pool was blue and gold. At the end of the pool were Greek columns with flames out of the top. The scene was like something out of the roman emperor Caligula's house. It was all a bit surreal. On top of it, we were served champagne and other things by the high class hooker. I thought, well, it's time to go home now. Oh, yeah, this is after one of the girls fell down the stairs naked and laughing. But on our way home, there were 2 cops in a squad car. They were sleeping. You know what that means? The Big Sleep. It was all surreal.

Anyway, I'll talk to you guys next week. Love, B. Nice

P.S. Remind me to tell you guys about Cancun. I had a huge sub water crocodile on my sundeck. Not good if you have a small child. Luckily, this was a long time ago. Remember, everything I say is true. They were all things that happened to me. No wonder why I have traumatic brain injury.

Chapter 71 - October 9, 2012

Well, it's official. My private life has gone from bad country song to full on daytime soap opera drama. Never a dull moment. Remember, time + tragedy = comedy, sometimes.

Hi everybody! Well, another week goes by. I was reading my previous blog and I realized it is good to look back and see what happened. It's good to see where you were then, and where you are now. Because of this thought, I'm going to benchmark where I am now and how I feel. I feel like shit. I'm in a wheelchair, still, but I can walk with the assistance of 2 people. I can feed myself, very carefully. My vision is still double and shaky, but it is getting better. I still have difficulty talking. I was talking to my assistant the other day. She totally misunderstood me. I was talking about something and to her it sounded like I said, "I've done a couple of porn videos." Man, I guess I got a ways to go to get better. Anyway, it's good to keep a diary. I'm still haunted by the videos I made, but I do see a progress. I'm getting better, but it's slow. So slow. Remember, be patient.

The County Nurse came by today. They stop by every once in a while to check up on me. When you have a traumatic brain injury, it's good to try and get a traumatic brain injury waiver. You can only do this if you're on Medicare. If you're going through what I went through, you will understand what I'm talking about. The waiver will bring you so many more benefits. Ask your County Nurse about this. It really helps me. The other thing I've done is sign up for my local gym. It's a wellness center. Good for strength building.

The other thing that happened this week was I went to my local church with my family. They were blessing the animals so I thought it would be appropriate I went. I got to see 2 of my good friends from grade school. One of them is sitting right in front of me. It was good. And my other friends came over to talk about my next fundraiser. The other project I'm working on is a coast to coast trip. I will include the link. Check it out.

https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/

I can't remember what I was going to talk about with a TBI, so I'll go on to tell a few stories about things that happened in the past. You know, I always say your photograph, the picture you take is only as strong as your weakest element. For example, if the clothes suck, the picture sucks. If the make-up is weak, the picture is weak. You know, it's rare that everything comes together and you get a great picture. There are so many elements involved.  (See, my speech needs work. My friend here said, "There's elephants involved?!") Anyway, back to my story. One of the many elements are the people involved. You know like the art director, the photographer, the model, etc., etc. Everyone works hard to get the perfect picture. You know, I've been lying on my back for quite some time. I never really expressed my appreciation but I really appreciate the hard work that the producers do, and the hair & makeup, etc. They all work really hard. I used to tease people a lot. For example, one time this producer left her balcony door open so I thought it would be good to get my assistants together and fill her entire room with full plastic glasses of water. She had to drink her way to the bathroom. And if that wasn't enough, my assistant thought it would be really funny to put her entire mini-bar under her bed. Oh yeah, we also put all of her balcony furniture on her bed, and took a picture of all of us on her bed at the cafe table. We got in trouble because when she checked out, her mini-bar bill was $600. Something like that. Anyway, I just wanted to say the producers get a lot of grief but work really hard. I just want to say a couple of things because I haven't said them in a while. "What? This is it for breakfast? What do I look like a bird? Salmon again? You can't be serious. I've changed my room. Again."

Another person that's really important on the shoot is the hairdresser. Hair is really difficult. It can make or break your photo. It's hard to find a good hairdresser. One guy I knew was a really good hairdresser. You'd never know it by looking at him. The guy looked like a linebacker for the Giants. Anyway, he was from East London. One day he called me up and in a thick East London accent he said, "Brian, I'm shooting fucking dogs today." I said, "Come on, man. The girls can't be that bad." He said, "No man, I'm shooting f-u-c-king dogs. Real dogs. I've got to do the hair on the lot of them. I've had it. I'm going back to London. This is bullshit. I'm a good hairdresser. Now I'm doing dogs." He was upset for some reason. The guy was a great hairdresser, but the last vision I have of him is him throwing down a girl I was dating onto the dance floor and biting her foot. The guy was a wild man. I had to convince her not to call the police. She was really going to call the cops on him. It was all a bit much. Good party though.

Well, that's it for this week. My friend here will include some cartoon images from the past. I hope you have a good week. I'll get back to work. Love, B. Nice

Chapter 70 - October 2, 2012

Hi everybody. Hope you had a good week. Mine started out a bit bizarre. I have a health assistant. He reads me my old blogs from a year ago to see how far I've come. It's very helpful to me. But then he said, "Hey, let's do a video of you with your iPad." I thought, well, that's a good idea. I'll do a video once a week. Well, I did a video with my iPad, and then I watched it. That was a big mistake. Holy shit. I can't believe how devastatingly handsome I am. Just kidding. I can't believe how much I've aged. You have to remember, I haven't looked at myself in like 2 years. I also noticed how messed up I am. I guess it's a good marker. I must have been really messed up right after the 2nd operation. I kept this in mind when I talked to my other aide. I said to her, "Man, I must have been really messed up after I came home after the 2nd operation." She said I was in bad shape. She couldn't believe they sent me home. Anyway, I'm getting better one day at a time.

The other thing that happened to me this week was the owner, the guy that made the Up and Go, he stopped by for a tune-up. It's pretty cool, the Up and Go. It teaches me how to walk again. It's all a bit boring, but I literally had to learn how to like lift my knees up, where to plant my foot. It's very monotonous and full of small moves, but it's necessary to learn how to walk. We take for granted. Just being able to walk across the room is a miracle.

The other cool thing that happened to me was I sat up! My friend came by. He was going to take me out to lunch. He woke me up from my nap. I looked over, saw him and just sat up. I sat up and I went "Holy shit! I'm sitting up!" and then I fell down. Remember, never think too much.

I would like to include a link to my new project coming up. Remember, you gotta have distractions when you're like this. This next project coming up will be a good distraction. I have a good friend helping me put it together. It should be fun and hopefully you'll follow it. Here's the link.

https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/

That's about it for my TBI statements. Let's tell a few stories.

People often ask me, "What's the worst shoot you ever had?" I immediately think of the time I was in Santa Fe, New Mexico. I was shooting a very long commercial job. By day 4 we had accumulated a lot of film. My assistant had all the film in FedEx boxes lined up against her wall. Well the maid, in her infinite wisdom, threw out all of the FedEx boxes. I came back from a day's shooting and got a frantic message from my assistant. We met down at the front desk. I arrived at the front desk and my assistant, she was white faced and looked rather stunned. The manager was dismissing her and saying "Just wait a moment please." I rarely lose my temper, but I started screaming at him, "Where's your fucking dumpster you idiot?!" That's what I said, and that's being polite. But we found the dumpster and we went through all the trash. It had been compressed by the compressor. But we found all the boxes and we took the film out. It was all done just in time because the town dump truck just arrived. Thank God we got the film out. Anyway, we sent the film to the lab and about 80% came out OK. We had to reshoot some things, but a lot was saved.

That was the worst shoot, but the best one was in the south of France. I was staying at a spa. They believed in rejuvenation through grapes. There was lots and lots of good wine and lots of good food. It was a great shoot.

Speaking of wine, you know, I don't drink anymore, but there's a few reasons. I'm going to explain why it's not good to drink it in excessive amounts. You know, I've been on my back for a long time reflecting on my life. Drinking was a big part of my life. Here's a couple of reasons why you shouldn't drink. I'll make it kind of short. One good reason not to drink is, you wind up bringing the wrong girl home at the end of the night. Another reason why you shouldn't drink is that you sometimes puke on the window of your friendly neighborhood restaurant, and then you get arrested if you try to drive. You do stupid things like try to 4 wheel drive in a gravel pit, late at night. Or you throw paint on a sign, late at night. Oh yeah, once again, you bring the wrong girl home, late at night. You try to get out of handcuffs. You end up in bar fights. You bring the wrong girl home at the end of the night. You watch your roommate jump over a skunk and call it a kitty cat. You bring the wrong girl home at night. You go swimming in the ocean late at night. There are so many things I can think of, but the point is, don't drink in excessive amounts, and think twice before you do anything.

The last thing I'd like to talk about is Nightmare Travel Stories. I used to travel almost every week. My job took me to some amazing places. But I had to deal with traveling all the time. There were numerous occasions I would get to the airport for an international flight. I'd get there and I'd have no passport. One time, I heard my name being called out by an Italian cab driver "Breeeaannn De Niche, Breeeaannn De Niche" I've got so many stories. But that'll do for now. I'll talk to you guys next week. My friend here will include some random cartoons I did in the day. Love, B. Nice

Chapter 69 - September 25, 2012

You can take a horse to water but you can't make him drink. Remember that saying? Well, in this case, it's true. If you have traumatic brain injury, you can have all the tools in the world. A car, a power chair, lifts, etc., but if you don't have the desire to improve, you'll never get better. It depends on what level you want to end up. Some people are happy being in a wheelchair watching TV. But I want to get back to where I was. It's a good thing I had a background training. I worked hard every moment to get better. You gotta be like that.

Well the results from the EEG are in. I do have a brain, and it seems to work just fine. It's amazing what they can see. They saw I had brain surgery twice. They could see where I had the bleed. They wanted to check for seizure. They noticed some activity, but they're not sure if they're seizures or what. You know, they don't know everything. So I continue to take my anti-seizure medicine, and do therapy, and get better. There was an article a friend of mine sent me. It was about a woman who had traumatic brain injury. It took her 6 years to get better. So you gotta be patient.

Let's see, what else happened this week? Oh! I took possession of our new car. My parents got a new car that will take me in my wheelchair. We got it cause I almost crushed my mother while transferring. I basically fell down. So to save anyone from getting hurt, we got the car. As I get better, I could always sell it later. Remember, don't get hung up on the tools. My friend here will include a photo of the car. It's big but it works real good. Oh, yeah, my friend here asked me what I called the car. I call it The BEAST. The other thing I've been doing a lot is painting. I paint every day. It's been very fun, and very therapeutic. It's good for my hands. I highly recommend it.

Also check out my new project this is a link below to info related to it. I'm pretty excited about it.
https://mypointofviewproject.wordpress.com/

That's it for TBI. Let's talk about some stories. Back in the early 80's I worked for a famous fashion photographer. One of our jobs took us to Africa. We were working for French Vogue and we were shooting in Togo Africa. Well, getting off the plane, the fashion editor said to me, "Get our stuff, we'll be by the pool having drinks." I thought, great, this is going to be a fun trip. Well, when I went in for the bags, none of our stuff came out. Everyone had gone. I was standing there alone when all of a sudden, a guy came over with a machine gun. He said, "Sir, are you ready for your bags?" I said, "Yeah." He said, "OK." He described the bags that he had. They were ours. He said, "OK," he said, "Come with me." So I went with him. We got in a Jeep. Drove out of the airport, across the runway to the other side of the airport. I was thinking, this isn't good. Anyway, we got to the other side of the airport, he said to me, "Go in there." and "there" was a bunker that I was to go into. So I went in there. Inside the bunker was like something out of a movie. I walked in, the room was very dark. There was a chair in the middle of the room. I sat in the chair, and as my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I saw an old guy on a bench wearing clothes that were even older than him. He was shaking. He looked really scared. And then a light came on. There was one single bare light over a long table. The table was perpendicular to me, starting left to right. The bare bulb hanging from the ceiling had a lampshade over it. Once again, it was like a scene from a movie. There was a guy who was obviously the authoritative figure. He was sitting in the middle of the table under the light. The guy looked like Idi Amin's twin. He had lots of ribbons and stars. There was some guy whispering into his ear. There were lots of guys with machine guns standing around. I thought, great, this is gonna be fun. And then the guy said to me in perfect Oxford English, "Is this your stuff?" And they brought out all of our equipment and clothes. I said, "Yeah, that's our stuff." He said, "What are you doing here?" I said, "Oh, we're doing a fashion shoot for French Vogue." He hesitated, looked at me, looked at the stuff, said, "OK, someone will help you back to the hotel with your stuff. But stay around the hotel and if you photograph the president's palace you might get shot. Have a nice stay." That was nothing compared to the rest of the trip. While we were there, there was a military coup, and an emergency evacuation, a garbage bag full of pot, etc., etc. Never a dull moment.

The next story takes place in Paris, France. I used to shoot all the time for a fashion magazine that came out weekly. I loved shooting with them. I used to shoot at least once every two weeks with them. I would always have to meet with them to discuss the shoot. I would leave my house, go down Rue du Seine, have a coffee at my favorite cafe, go across Pont Neuf. Go through the Louvre, cross Rue de Rivoli and go to the magazine. Not a bad commute. It was a nice walk. I loved going there. The production team, you know, the girls that put the shoot together, they were real cool. I used to hang out there all the time. I would go to their office, sit around a big table and look at the production board. It had my name, the name of the shoot, the fashion editor, the models, the hair and makeup, etc., etc. We would think of girls to use and make up to use, and then we'd talk about restaurants, eating. It was nice. OK, I went on a bit of a tangent there. I guess, I long for the good old days.

Well, that's it for now. I will say one thing. It's an interesting observation. It seems as I've become more and more aware of my body, I get more depressed. It's kind of a drag. You know, this has been going on for three years. I joke about it, but it's tough. I am getting better. Like my friend says, I just gotta suck it up. The other thing is, my voice keeps cracking. I just tell everybody I'm going through puberty again. Talk to you next week. Love, B. Nice

Chapter 68 - September 18, 2012

Suck it up. Suck it up. That's my profound word for the week. You see, a guy I knew from the hospital I went to came by the other day. He was interested in photography so I gave him some pointers and some tips. He has a good eye. I'm not sure exactly what's wrong with him but he has traumatic brain injury like myself. He has a difficult time communicating. He can't really speak. He has a small device on him about the size of an iPhone. He'll press a button and the device will say, "Hello" or "I'll have a coffee." It's basically a communication device. The one thing he can do is sing. He can sing what he has to say. Apparently speaking and singing are two different parts of the brain. So, when I started complaining, he sang to me, "Suck it up." I thought that was amusing. The last time I was told to suck it up was when I was in the ICU (intensive care unit). Then I had to get an MRI done and I didn't want to do it. I hate those things. A friend of mine is a nurse said to me, "Brian, it's really important you have this MRI done. You have to suck it up." I said, "All right. I'll suck it up and do it." Well, on my way into the MRI, a small child came out of the MRI as I was going in. I thought, well, if he can do it, I can do it. I don't know how little kids do it.

This week has been a real busy week for me. First of all, I had to get an EEG done on my brain. It's basically a bunch of wires they put on your head and you've got to carry a little monitor over your shoulder for 24 hours. It's a bit of a pain in the ass, and you look like an alien, but it's important to get it done. My new neurologist wanted that. I've yet to see the results, but no one has called to say you have no brain. So no news is good news right now. I see the neurologist next week. The other thing that happened was I got my new car. It's basically a car that will take you in a wheelchair. It's called an MV1. It's made by Ford and it'll give me a little more freedom. I can go with my friend here to have a coffee. Get out of the house. I will say it's amazing how expensive it is. It seems anything medical is expensive. I got a wheelchair the other day. A power chair. Hell, the thing is so expensive you could trade it in for a new car. Just an observation.

I was going through my old blogs the other day and I noticed that I have made some improvements. They are slow. Very slow, but I keep moving forward. I did it because I was really depressed about my progress. It seems like I'm not getting better, but remember where you were. That's what I do, and that's what I did. I looked back to a year ago. It made me feel better. Hell, when I was in ICU I was almost dead. So I say, I'm better now.

Let's tell some stories. I am doing this blog to try and help people that have traumatic brain injury, I've gone through a lot and a lot's happened to me. I truly believe all these things got me ready for what I'm going through.

I worked for a certain English fashion magazine all the time. I worked with one specific editor all the time as well. We worked together so much she even gave me a theme song. It was a song done by Crowded House. The song was entitled, "Everywhere you go you take the weather with you" and I guess it was true. Every time I worked with her we had bad weather. It was crazy. One time we were on the east coast of America and shooting when a fog bank rolled in. It was the Spring. I was driving the minivan around thinking what on earth am I going to do? It's horrible out. Just give me a nice house with porches. I can make it work. But there was no budget for a nice house with porches. I was driving around when I saw the perfect house. I went up, knocked on the door. No one was there. I looked in. It was obviously boarded up for the Winter. I thought, well, there's no one here. Perfect. Let's shoot here, ha ha. So I spent the rest of the day shooting at the house. Thank God nobody came home. But then, as I'm about to finish, the neighbor came over. She said, "Oh, how interesting. What are you doing." She said this in a very thick English accent. I said, "I'm shooting for a new English magazine and a friend of a friend got me permission to shoot here." I basically talked my way around that one. Then she said, "Oh, well why don't you pop on over for some tea and crackers." Well who can resist tea and crackers so I went over. We sat down, had a chat. I was there for about an hour. You know, just small talk. I got in my van and drove back to the hotel. The people that owned the house are probably thinking, "What the hell happened?"

I used to love working with that editor. It was fun. One of the last shoots we did I remember her talking to a priest. She was trying to explain why it's OK to have a topless girl leaning against his wall in Santa Fe. Never a dull moment.

The following story took place in Paris, France. I had a really good friend who had a restaurant near Notre Dame. At the end of the night we would always go there to have dinner, close the place down, break out the music, break out the cavados (apple liqueur), and party. Well, after a few hours and a few bottles, we thought it'd be fun to go out, so my friend got his Czechoslovakian jeep (a 4 wheel drive monster), and we all piled in. It had no roof and it was raining. My friend said, "No problem." He ran inside, got a bunch of garbage bags and we put them on. they worked pretty good. Well, he started driving and he thought it would be fun to go down the steps near the river. But he proceeded to go down the steps in the jeep I was in the back and I thought, This is not a good idea. So I jumped out. Well, they proceeded down the steps and along the quay. And I thought, "The bastard made it." Then, they started to go up the steps on the other side. I thought, well, I gotta catch them. so I started running down the middle of the street in my plastic bag in the rain. I ran by some police that were guarding the prime minister's house. I stopped running. Walked past them, said, "Good evening. They looked at me with their machine guns ready. they said good evening, so I just walked past them and continued. Then, when I was at a safe distance from them, I continued running until I caught up with my friends in the jeep. We all went to a local night club and danced until the sun came up. The scariest part about this story is this was a typical night for me when I lived in Paris. No wonder why I have traumatic brain injury.

My friend here will include some cartoons from the past.  Have a good week everybody.

Oh, yeah, I want to tell, one more story. Remember a few blogs back I told you I ran across America in 1979. It was a 12 man relay team. We made the Guinness book of world records. Anyway, at about 2 am I was running through he desert all by myself with my baton and flashlight. You see the van would drive down the road 2 miles and wait for you. Anyway, I was running i9n the middle of the road through the desert when all of a sudden a wolf/wild dog tried to bite me and then another one tried to bite me. all of a sudden I was surrounded by a pack of wild dogs. I didn't know what to do, but every time I pointed my baton at a dog, he would cower and run away. I thought to myself, hell, they think the baton is a weapon. So I was running int he middle of the road pointing my baton and screaming. Well, the guy was next to run saw me coming out of the dark. He was freaking out. He said, what are you screaming for? I said, there's wild wolves out here. No one believed me because I like telling stories. But it was true. I was surrounded by wolves. Well I gave the baton tot he next guy. I said,, holy shit good luck. That was crazy. and everyone who got back into the van said "Oh B nice is just telling another story. You know the boy that cried wolf. Typical." The last vision I have of the next runner is him sprinting trying to keep up with the van crying and saying, "Don't leave me here. Don't leave me here." The boy that cried wolf. Little do you people know, all my stories are true. Love, B. Nice

Chapter 67 - September 11, 2012

Hey, check out the date above. I want to dedicate this blog to someone I knew in the Twin Towers. I won't go into details, but I will tell you, he was a cool guy. If I could, I'd raise a pint of ale to ya.

Hi everybody, you know every time September 11 comes around you see pictures of falling buildings, wrecked fire trucks, people covered in white ash, total death and destruction, but I have a good story.

September 11, 2001, I was out surfing in Montauk. It was a beautiful day. Just like today. There was a north wind, a Bermuda low, hurricane pushing up a great hurricane swell. It was ideal conditions for surfing big waves. You see, a lot of people from a certain agency in the Twin Towers called into work and said they wouldn't be there. They basically played hooky that day because of the waves. It's a good thing they did because their lives were saved because of the big waves.

That's enough about that. Let's go back to traumatic brain injury. You know, we go through life avoiding holes. I've fallen into a huge hole. I need lots of help getting out. It's a bit of a cliche, but I am in a big hole. First thing you have to do is save yourself, and then you need a point person to help you get up and start your climb out. Friends and family are so important.You know what I'm going to tell a few stories instead. I got side tracked and forgot what I was going to say. I started thinking about the above paragraph too much. Let's tell a few stories.They are going to be random stories.

The following story takes place in Paris. When I was living in Paris, I would often go to the movies by myself. The movies were often on the Champs Elysees. Anyway, I was walking to the movie. I turned around and saw a group of soccer hooligans, and I looked in front and there was another group of soccer hooligans, and then I looked to my right and there was some riot police in a van. One of the policemen was walking out with a riot shield and a baton. I said to him, "What's going on?" He looked at me, put down his plexiglass visor and he said, in a very thick french accent, "Get out of here. There's going to be trouble." I thought, Oh my God, I gotta get out of here.So I ducked into a cafe. It was a typical tourist cafe on the Champs Elysees. It had an outdoor cafe, but it was walled in with glass. I sat down and ordered coffee. The two groups met. The riot police came out. So I jumped up, ran to the bar, ordered a beer, sat down at my table and watched a full on riot occur. Very entertaining and better than any movie you could go see.

The following story took place during a photographic shoot in Santa Barbara, California, USA. The day before our shooting, there was a series of small earthquakes. Our location van driver wouldn't shut up about them. He kept going on and on about earthquakes. (A location van is where they do all the hair and makeup, catering, wardrobe. It's basically a mobile studio.) Anyway, on that morning we were shooting and he would go on and on about the earthquakes. Every time I'd go in to get a coffee, he'd be chatting about the earthquakes. I shot all morning. Worked hard. We had lunch and I had to listen to him talk about earthquakes. I was in my car trying to catch a few ZZZz and I couldn't sleep because I heard him talking about earthquakes. It was driving me nuts, so I got my assistants. We all stood on the back bumper and the back ladder. On the count of 3 we all jumped up and down on the bumper and the ladder. We really got the location van rocking and rolling. I threw down a few stands and lights to make it a little more dramatic. Well, the results were perfect. The van driver, the one who was going on and on about earthquakes, he screamed, "Oh, my God! an earthquake, everyone get out of the van quick, stay away from the building. Get into open space." Everyone, I mean everyone came piling out of the van. I was crying I was laughing so hard. One of the models even managed to call her boyfriend. She said, "We're right in the middle of an earthquake." It was very funny, but I never did get coffee for the rest of the day.

Let's talk about the mask. My friend here reminded me. We never did talk about the mask. (See a few blogs back.) When I was in Australia, I would often go to a certain store to buy primitive artwork. I used to collect primitive art, but I would always collect like baskets, books, kitchen stuff, you know everyday stuff.  But one day, I walked into this store and I saw a mask I really liked. Something about it really appealed to me. Well, anyway, I bought the mask, brought it home and hung it on the wall. The first night I had the mask my wife at the time and I went to bed. I was sleeping in a deep sleep when I had the most bizarre dream. I dreamed something was circling my apartment outside. Some energy that would go from window to window trying to get in, faster and faster. It was outside. Then it was inside and was making a noise like Whooosh whoosh. It would get closer and closer to me. It was very intense, and as it got closer to me I had a nightmare of slaughtered kangaroos. Everything was red. I woke up screaming. I looked over and my wife was screaming. She was having the same nightmare. How bizarre was that? Well, I went into the kitchen, got some tequila. I was looking at the mask when all of a sudden one of the pieces of the mask fell off. I thought, OK, that's it. I put the mask in the bag it came in and put it outside. The next morning I brought the mask back. The guy I bought it from said, "Yeah, no problem, I'll take it back. I understand." I said, "By the way, what was with this mask anyway?" He said, "The history of it was that when they brought it out once a year and they used it during a ceremony where they would slaughter animals and have a big party." I thought, "OK, thank you. Bye." I never went back there.

I've gotta go. A friend of mine is coming. She's a creative director. I 'm gonna give her some fake bugs to put on the art director's shoulder. I can't be there. I can't be a photographer, you know, do the fashion thing, but I can be there in spirit. See you next week. Oh, yeah, my friend here will include some drawings. By for now. See you next week.  Love, B. Nice

Chapter 66 - September 4, 2012

Hi everybody. It's a bit of a cliche but I say nothing worthwhile is easy. You gotta take one day at a time. That's how I live my life right now. I get done with my day and I think of what I'm gonna do tomorrow. I got to pull out my soapbox right now. You guys out there listen. Have your kids listen. I said it before, but I'm gonna say it again: You guys cannot, I repeat, cannot talk on the phone or text while driving. If you saw what I saw, you would freak out. It was horrible. Remember what I said before. You're one glance away from death at any point while driving and talking on the phone. OK, that's it. I'll put away my soapbox now. That's all I have to say about that.

If you're lying there with traumatic brain injury, it's good to have a great imagination. It'll get you through the tough stuff. You know, imagine yourself in your favorite spot. Just use your imagination. It helped me a lot.

I had a good week this week. It was the closing of my show (see a few blogs back). We had a big party and I saw a lot of my friends that couldn't make it to the opening. It was a great day. I sold a lot of work, but I probably broke even. Like I said before, it's not about money. It's about photography. You see, you gotta do what you love. You gotta be distracted to make it through this stuff. Then, have a great friend, like my friend here. Having great friends is really important. I had a friend visit from the west coast. That was great. I had some friends stop over. That was also great. It was a good week. I guess I don't personally notice this, but I do have improvements. Like, I'm better at walking with assistance. I'm better at speaking. Just little things, but I still get jealous when I see someone go running by. I wish I could run again. Someday. Who knows? But for the moment, I just keep working hard. Hell, everything I do is like an Olympic event. You know, like rolling over in bed is a huge accomplishment. Sitting up in my wheelchair is a big accomplishment. Anyway, I didn't want to bore you any further. Just work real hard. Never give up. Always move forward.

Now I'm gonna tell a couple of stories. I guess I'll confess to a few things I did. I'm not really proud of them, but I feel better confessing to it. Ha! You know what I noticed. I notice that doing this blog does help other people, but it's been helping me. When I have a hard time I think about what I'm going to talk about. It gets me through the rough times. Just an observation.

OK, now I'm gonna talk about some location photographic shoots. The following stories are confessions.

I was doing a lingerie shoot in a loft in NYC. The owner of the loft was a woman in her mid 40's. Attractive woman. Very business like. Anyway, I was shooting and she said to us, "I'm going out for some breakfast. You guys are cool. Just shoot anywhere you want, but do not, I repeat, do not use my bedroom. It's personal space and off limits to photo shoots." And then she left. So, I was curious. She seemed adamant about not shooting in her room. The more I thought about it, the more curious I got so I stopped shooting, went down to her room and noticed it had beautiful light. Not only did it have beautiful light, but it had a gorgeous old bed. Well, I gotta shoot here, I mean come on. I'm doing a lingerie shoot. So I double checked to make sure she left and I got the whole crew to come  quickly down and shoot in her room. I got the model to stand by the bed, but it wasn't quite right. The bed had to move slightly, so I had my assistants move the bed. Well, the minute they moved it, I heard kerplunk. First 2 D batteries rolled out and then a big dildo or vibrator or whatever you call it rolled out as well. I was laughing then thought, Oh shit, we better get out of here. And I said to my assistant, pick that up and put it back. He said no way man. I'm not touching that thing. I said come on, just put it back together and put it back. Well, he looked at me and the other assistant, he said, all right, I'll be right back. He came back from the kitchen wearing some playtex gloves and he put it back together put it back in place where he thought it was, and we got the hell out of there. The woman came back just as we left. Thank god we left. She looked different to me.

The next photoshoot I'm gonna talk about happened in Miami. We were shooting in a beautiful home, a little tacky, but beautiful. Anyway, the woman who lived there was what you might say was obsessive compulsive. Her pens were neatly in a tray by the phone. Her pencils were not only neat, but they were stacked by the phone. All her plates were perfectly stacked in a line. All her CD's were alphabetized. Her coffee table books were stacked perfectly. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. The woman must have stayed up half the night arranging her apartment. Anyway, it drove me a little crazy. The place was freakishly set up. The producer kept going on and on how we had to leave everything as we found it. Well, by the third day, I was going nuts so what did I do? I rearrange all the CD's. I mixed them all up, I put the pencils in with the pens. I rearrange all of her plates and glasses. I re-did all of her towels for her. Ha Ha ha ha. You get the idea. I had fun. She's probably in some institution right now.

I'll tell another story. This one's kind of short, but I still feel guilty. I was on a photo shoot in a house. It was in Connecticut. It was a great house, and an even better stereo system. I was shooting with these lights. They are kind of like movie lights. There was just enough power to use these lights. Anyway, I had one of these lights plugged in by the stereo. When we were finished at the end of the day, I helped my assistant with the lights. I still don't know what the hell happened. I unplugged one of the lights. Lo and behold, there was a huge bolt of lightening that just fried his whole stereo. It smelled like burnt rubber. and there was a loud bang. I think I could have been killed. Anyway, the stereo was toast. We got the hell out of there. Sorry about that, my friend the producer. You know who you are. Yeah, it was me.

Well, that's it for now as far as the confessions go. I have a few more, but I'll save them for later. I'll say one thing about traumatic brain injury. I notice that as I've become more alert and aware, I realize how messed up I am. It's kind of like a catch 22 situation. You're almost better off not knowing anything. It's bizarre and crazy.  For example, I'm really aware of my body and how messed up I am. I got a lot of work to do, but I'm ready to do it. Like I said before, it's my job to get better. A friend of mine came to the closing. He's also in a wheelchair and also a traumatic brain injury person. A damn tree when through his body. Anyway, he's doing good. I'm proud of him. We had similar journeys. We travelled far but we've got a lot more to do. I'll talk to you guys next week.  My friend here will do a few more scans for you. I used to keep a journal. You know, where I've been, what I do. The journals were in cartoon form. I can't draw like that now, but I'll share what I did with you. Talk to you next week. Love, B. Nice